Forums > Height Issues > How do you deal with being different?
A lot of us here, for whatever reason, probably deal with feeling different on a day-to-day basis. How do you cope with it? Are you shy? Do you laugh it off? I think it would be interesting to hear the different ways all of the members of this site treat this, especially some of the younger members who are probably having more trouble getting used to themselves.
when i was younger i thought i needed to be just like everyone else… that in order to be cool i had to wear the same clothes, etc. the older i’ve become i’ve realized that the qualities that make me different typically make me more interesting, memorable, dare i say valuable? i love being different.
I maintain a commitment to no tattoos or piercings.
I am sure you are referring to being physically different. That is not much of an issue for me as I am more or less physically average and not much stands out except for my eye and hair color. When I was in 9th grade though, I was only 5’4 and my shoesize was 13 (it’s a real shame they stopped growing there I really wish they kept going, but what can you do). I did get comments about it now and then, but not often. I just shrugged it off and slightly meekly said “yeah I know”. I figured if I didn’t make it into a big deal, but also didn’t act too shy about it, people would not have much to feed off of and would not make it into a focus.
Personality wise has been more difficult for me, but certainly manageable. My personality is quite off-kilter, and I am well aware of this. I have always been the oddball when I was younger. I was made fun of to the point of where I needed to transfer to another school district at the end of 7th grade. I have since come into my own to accept the fact that I am indeed quite different. The way I manage this is that I retain a high level of self-awareness (which has become natural for me), and keep an eye on what I say and do to make sure that it fits in with the social norm. At the same time though, I do not change who I am and I accept that I am who I am and that not everyone is going to like me. It is a tricky balance between having a grandiose personality by forcing others to accept me, and having no self esteem. This balance though, when found, is very powerful and very useful. It takes confidance in yourself, and also awareness of others. I wish I could give a manual to anyone who has trouble with being different, but the path to actually making all of this work together is highly individualistic for each person, and they must find it on their own. It is one of those things though that once you start you master it, you just know.
I honestly feel out of place no matter where I go. I just perceive myself to be very socially awkward and as a result I developed a nervous laugh that some people find cute and charming but really irritates other people. My chuckle hurt my chances of getting a job at Rolex. But it helped me get a job at the hospital where I work at because it helps relax the patients and makes them feel more comfortable, well, for the most part anyway, unless I’m registering a Crisis or suicidal patient and they think that I’m crazier than them lol But I also have a hard time giving people direct eye contact too because of my shyness. In fact, I was so shy growing up that I had to repeat preschool twice because during my first go around I wouldn’t talk to any of my classmates. So I know that I’m different but now I’m proud of my differences and know that they make me unique. I now pity the people that just want to conform to others
i feel like my earlier comment would fit in the question segment of a beauty pageant quite nicely.
willowdog said: i feel like my earlier comment would fit in the question segment of a beauty pageant quite nicely.
You didn’t mention world peace, though. Minus points.
This is something I’ve dealt with often in my life, whether it has to do with being taller than my peers, or being from a foreign country, or even just being a being a science nerd and an athlete at the same time. Some of us wish we were more ‘unique’ and some of us wish we didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. I think that is inconsequential. What’s most important is asserting yourself among your peers, and being confident in your abilities. I’ve learned that people respect you more, no matter what you may appear to be superficially, if you have the inner confidence to do what you feel you should, and not depend upon the approval or opinions of others.
love it dev… so true. especially pertains to the younguns. go ahead and learn this. i promise that people with gravitate and love the guy who dances and smiles like he’s having a ball. if they don’t i swear it’s because they wish they could have fun like you and don’t know how to do it. p.s. inconsequential is such a nice word.
I’ve always danced to the beat of a different drummer. Hell, I think I might be the drummer. I don’t I’m capable of every being anything but different. So I own it by shaving stripes and lightning bolts into my face.
Just wait til I get my monocle…
devbasketball101 said: What’s most important is asserting yourself among your peers, and being confident in your abilities.
I don’t think I could have said that better myself.
I like my size. At 6’6 I think Im tall but not tall-tall. People comment on my height but its not like Im getting pointed at everywhere I go.
If I may make a suggestion which occurred to me the other day and is probably obvious to all hence why I am the one mentioning it! Still: difference among us is actually the single most potent commonality which we all share, from that standpoint we are the same because we are different. 
Doesn’t language do tricky things?
I am not tall as some people on the site are. I am pretty average as things go. Average that is, in appearance. Height, shoe size, etc. I have never been an average person as far as my way of thinking or my personality goes. I realized fairly early on that I was different than most people. When I was young and the kids called me “weird” I didn’t know what they were talking about. Hell, I was normal inside my own head. I don’t know what it’s like inside anyone else’s skull. I have always used the truth as a form of shield against the barbs and name calling.I learned early…that truth scares the bejesus out of most people. I also have a pretty damned good sense of humor…..making people laugh makes them like you.( or at least tolerate you )
I used to really hate being small. I got teased in school for my size but I think that made me more resilient. Im now in a position where I am managing a lot of people and have no problem getting my point or authority across. I love my size!
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