hey people, so i have a question and id really apriciate some advice and thoughts on this, so im 6f3, my bf is bout 6f ish and he utterly doesnt understand why i hate being tall, to the point we argue and yes i know the speech bout how i need to be confident and accept that it wont ever change ect blah but oki in reality it doesnt always work, so i met some of his new friends a while ago and 1 of them, a small chap, who i totally heard great things about, first thing he said was ‘your bigger than i thought’ then proceeded to say other such things and another female friend said similar things ofc now im wishing i had said ‘oh so your still short and fat i see’ but im not an ignorant bitch so ..which knocked my confidence, and i havent had an easy life so i cling to every bit of it i can lol its jus hell cuz i thought a tall guy would understand but apparently not in his case, im kinda tempted to delete all this cuz it sounds so stupid but this is a height site afterall so here goes nothin … thanks Lor x

permanent link

How sad. Unfortunately I think it’s logical. If your were both 1 feet smaller, all the attention would have been on your boyfriend and everyone would have said “you’re smaller than I thought”. If your boyfriend were as tall as you, the attention would have been on both of you.
I don’t know if that has helped you. Maybe next time you should tell them to skip on that comments…I think your boyfriend doesn’t understand you because he may be the kind of guy who doesn’t mind/care about comments on him…I am this kind of guy and my girlfriend is a little bit like you, very sensitive about her body.

permanent link

From personal experience, some guys tend to be just as insecure about being shorter as woman do about being taller. Unfortunately, until they over come it, instead of focusing inward with it, it tends to be blurted out in comments like you observed. Having grown up in an area where the average height is 5’6”, I got picked on, challenged to fights, etc. quite a bit while growing up. lol.

I don’t have a female perspective to give directly, but seeing as my surrogate sis is quite tall as well, I’ve seen how she has had to put up with things like this all too often. It used to bother her quite a bit when she was younger. She used to fret over being able to wear heels, always wore baggy clothes, and at one point vowed to never date guys shorter than her lol. It took some time, but she stopped feeling so self-conscious about it (tho, tall guys are still on her menu lol).

I think the key is to focus on the positive aspects of your proportions. Also, you have to remember that real friends may jest, but they see you for all of your qualities and take none for granted.

As for your BF, he may not understand why comments from others bother you the way they do, but it probably stems from the fact that he sees you as lovely and nothing less in his eyes :-)

permanent link

thanks Khorvis and miniman83, thats actually helped quite abit,and it always helps to get a male perspective especially, i think i will try harder at ignoring the negatives and focusing more on the positives, i always thought, as a general, that short guys have it harder than short women and tall girls have it harder than tall guys, cuz of stupid sterotypes in socity, ofc theres exceptions but being super general about it, as it is i tell myself over and over that the grass is always greener and that EVERYONE dislikes somthing bout themselves and that i should be grateful actually that its not any worse lol oh well, lifelong process me thinks, but your coments raised some good points i totally hadnt concidered.

thanks :3
Lor xx

permanent link

I bet you have killer legs that girls are jealous of and guys lust over Consider that to be a positive at least

permanent link

I remember when I was in primary school, I had a tall female teacher who was really good at sports. Well, she told us how she had a hard time finding a boyfriend because when guys who were into her saw she was better at sports than they were, most would bail out with some lame excuse as to why they shouldn’t go out any more. Then, she met a guy who is now her husband and when he saw how good she was at sports, it impressed him and he was man enough that he didn’t mind she was better at some sports than he was although he was also very athletic. My point is, I think that if anyone has any negative comments which they direct towards you, it’s because they feel inadequate as men and their huge ego is actually so fragile. They are losers with a capital L! lol When I see a tall girl, I admire her for being so tall. Sometimes, I want to approach her, but think she probably wouldn’t be into a guy who is so much shorter than her. Guys who act macho probably want a girl who is smaller than they are so they can act all tough and ‘protect’ her. That’s just dumb high school behaviour anyway, isn’t it? So, please do be proud of your height Lorreli! You’re awesome! You rock! Go Girl!

permanent link

I know this is not the most helpful piece of advice in the world or even in this thread but here goes. One of things about accepting something about yourself, in my case being shorter than most, we perhaps wrongly assume by accepting something will somehow mean it will not vex us from time to time and it will never be tricky to think about ever again. I think the reality is that we can learn to accept our characteristics but we will never cease being a little bit conscious about them. Not trying to sound pessimistic, this is about our biology essentially, and our biology is built to accommodate some doubt, because doubt is what drives us to continue and achieve and improve. Hope some of this helps.

Nebhotep

permanent link

hey guys,
thanks espresso123, thats a loverly post, and im sure you right about the ego part,jus need to hold that in my mind for next time lol and again, helps alot to have a male perspective, i really apriciate the support, also thankyou to jm88, xx, and to nebhoteb, actually that gave me somthing further to think on, it did help as often words of advice only apply in principle and not in practice, and one feels as tho you jus dont get it when actually you do ect anyways yea, thats really awesome and jus what i needed, i had a wicked convo with a dude on here comparing notes, hes very short and it was amazing how similar we were in terms of height even tho diff sides of the same coin, reallly helped me think outside of this ‘tall’ thing and im starting to see its not about being tall short or inbetween but about dealing and ultimatly being happy with being abit unique.
Thanks guys
Lor xx

permanent link

Wow I’m surprised when you say you haven’t had an easy life that you cling to things; that affected you being insecure about your height?

I know everyone has their own problems in life and everyones problems seem significant at the time but I think we all need to be strong and learn to be confident with who we are. Easier said than done, but it would sicken me to say I felt uncomfortable about my height when I look at what my brother had to put up with. We never know how long we have… so we’ve got to make the most of it. Life’s to short for insecurities!

permanent link

permanent link

• How do I change my username? (3) - by danielcretten
• Cologne (16) - by bigmichael
• Gary Johnson the peoples persident (2) - by baseballjocksfv
• Jeans for Tall Men? (18) - by joebonnell
• who is the tallest gay guy on here (2) - by joebonnell
• I need to find and feel the power from a REAL GIANT BUD.... (3) - by primito13
• New servers (12) - by bodybuildermatt
• Don't want to be short (3) - by shrinkingman
• Have you shrunk? (39) - by shrinkingman
• OMG...I can't wear sz12 sneaker.... (8) - by danielcretten