I now feel guilty that I’ve asked the question.
Maybe I should not have done that.
Sorry if it made you feel bad (if so)

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Nah it’s fine, I’m pretty open about these things. It isn’t really debilitating for me, but it flares up every once in a while which freaks me out.

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jm88 said: frankie said:Why do some people seem rather rude on here?

It’s the internet, people hide behind a veil of anonymity and think that social norms do not apply on here. This is not an isolated incident.

Also, some people just want to get their rocks off on here and if you aren’t what they are after you will be ignored in preference of someone who has more erotic appeal to them.

Aaaand thirdly, there has been so many fakes on here over the years that some people are hesitant to commit to being friendly because at any given moment someone could suddenly quit or be deleted because they were a massive fake. One such incident a while back caused a lot of negativity on here because he was such a long standing member and many people felt pretty betrayed. The community spirit has died little by little since then.

“Its the internet,...”
So then most internet are creeps and morons, or people who are on this site and sites like this are creeps and morons! I would suppose that the non-creeps and morons are just chased off by the creeps and morons. It just a self fullfilling prophcy.

“get their rocks off….”
Well that would apply to most of the 99% of people on here, so its a dating site res ipsa loquitur. “...be ignored in preference of someone who has more erotic appeal to them.” I guess the grand appeal is very tall.

“...Thirdly” fakes and more fakes.

Maybe is we were less swallow and a more affirming, they may be less fakes. Personally im not worked up over fakes. Its not our place to vett everyone and be judgemental. If on here Mr. 7ft10in person turns out to be a fake….so. Our lives continue allong with that person’s. This leads up to the first comment “... people hide behind a veil of anonymity and think that social norms do not apply on here.” So…..who gives a F!@#.

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frankie said:“Its the internet,...”
So then most internet are creeps and morons, or people who are on this site and sites like this are creeps and morons! I would suppose that the non-creeps and morons are just chased off by the creeps and morons. It just a self fullfilling prophcy.

Not exactly, the point I was trying to make was that people who are perfectly polite off the internet are not always so polite online. When you aren’t interacting with a flesh and blood human in front of you, its easy to lose empathy and emotion towards the words on a screen, especially if its an empty profile and has no face picture.

The idea of people being chased off is somewhat true. I’ve seen many people leave because of the creepers, or severely reduce the time they spend on here.

“get their rocks off….”
Well that would apply to most of the 99% of people on here, so its a dating site res ipsa loquitur. “...be ignored in preference of someone who has more erotic appeal to them.” I guess the grand appeal is very tall.

Uh, yes. The website has always been this way. Log into chat, relatively normal conversation is happening, 7 footer joins, conversation is made as usual, suddenly about 15 new people enter and the chatroom is suddenly dominated by bizarre requests and the conversation that was going has suddenly been drowned out by all the conversations directed towards the 7 footer.

The 7 footer is inundated with private message requests or is sick of being treated like jerk off material and leaves. The people who were having a conversation previous have all since left because not only has their conversation been disrespected and disrupted, they are also ignored or worse because they do not fit the erotic appeal of the creeper incomers.

Then the chatroom is left with the creepers who have no purpose left since the 7 footer has left and all disperse. Chatroom empty. Chatroom dead.

“...Thirdly” fakes and more fakes.

Maybe is we were less swallow and a more affirming, they may be less fakes. Personally im not worked up over fakes. Its not our place to vett everyone and be judgemental. If on here Mr. 7ft10in person turns out to be a fake….so. Our lives continue allong with that person’s.

Less shallow I assume you mean? Well a website dedicated somewhat to peoples appearance is going to make that a hard task.

More affirming I agree on, but I think that means having more of a community spirit which has dwindled here.

Fakes bring down a community, especially one such as this. Sure, if someone is a fake why should it bother me, but at the same time why would I feel comfortable making friends and interacting with people who suddenly are not who they made themselves out to be? Why would I bother investing time and energy into forging a friendship with someone and with a community at large if I couldn’t expect that almost everyone was genuine?

Also, you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the intricate lies some people weave on here that form an entire identity. I don’t know the reasons that everyone does it, but I know some people get off on making a convincing roleplay, seeing peoples responses to their constructed identity and get their sexual thrills that way. Don’t you feel a bit used that people are getting their jollies off you simply by getting you to respond to their fake identity? That seriously doesn’t seem like community building material to me.

This leads up to the first comment “... people hide behind a veil of anonymity and think that social norms do not apply on here.” So…..who gives a F!@#.

Uh, forgive me if I’m wrong but wasn’t it you who was concerned about people being rude? If so, it seems very much that you would give an eff that people think they avoid social norms.

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*think that they can avoid social norms.

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“When you aren’t interacting with a flesh and blood human in front of you, its easy to lose empathy and emotion towards the words on a screen, especially if its an empty profile and has no face picture.”

I believe the whole internet exprence make peole lose empathy. as for a profile, it really seems not to matter. One thing for sure, one knows who are are if the social norms are dropped off…..their true colors come shining through.

“Uh, yes. The website has always been this way. Log into chat, relatively normal conversation is happening, 7 footer joins, conversation is made as usual, suddenly about 15 new people enter and the chatroom is suddenly dominated by bizarre requests…”

First off, who knows if they are even true, they are 7 feet. true noone want to feel like a piece of meat, but on the other hand if one complains about feeling a piece of meat, why ignore those who dont treat you like that and egg on those who do.

“ Why would I bother investing time and energy into forging a friendship with someone and with a community at large if I couldn’t expect that almost everyone was genuine?”

how can someone be geniune there is no sense of community? the population causes the problem that they seem to dislike: creeps. morans and fakes. The actions of the population sets up conditions for the problems that they dislike.

“Fakes bring down a community, especially one such as this. Sure, if someone is a fake why should it bother me, but at the same time why would I feel comfortable making friends and interacting with people who suddenly are not who they made themselves out to be? Why would I bother investing time and energy into forging a friendship with someone and with a community at large if I couldn’t expect that almost everyone was genuine?”

If that were the criteria or worry, why even bother with the internet?....go to a bar or a club, you can interact and make friends etc. esp you city folks. so to expect for people to be genuine one needs an environment that promotes that. the population does not make it a condusive environment for people to be genuine. So why be santimonious over it. Dont get me wrong, i hear you lound and clear, but i am just not suprised when it does not happens, i feel that the action of the entire poplation on here does not promote such an environment that we aspire for.

“ Don’t you feel a bit used that people are getting their jollies off you simply by getting you to respond to their fake identity?”

Honestly, im not very good at sex talk. So those are are going to get their jollies off my responses to their fake id will get bored with me. I has some tell that they are a fake to me allready on here. I still talk with em and i move on with life along with them. Again i dont egg them on.

“ Uh, forgive me if I’m wrong but wasn’t it you who was concerned about people being rude? If so, it seems very much that you would give an eff that people think they avoid social norms.”

ok, i understand your point. yes I was the one concerned. Im just saying if the popolation on here makes an environment that is condusive to the problems they dislike, why are they soo suprised when such problems arise. its only an enevitability.

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wow!! These are long replies. I’ll comment a few things:

“Well that would apply to most of the 99% of people on here, so its a dating site res ipsa loquitur. “

I think you forget the heterosexual members here! I don’t think I am the only 1% you’re talking about ^^

As for the community thing, I would like to say that creeps and fakes are “hunted” by members here who try to maintain this website a nice one and not a “dating, sexual and pack of fakes website”. I think people have indicated some websites where they can find this.

“Uh, yes. The website has always been this way. Log into chat, relatively normal conversation is happening, 7 footer joins, conversation is made as usual, suddenly about 15 new people enter and the chatroom is suddenly dominated by bizarre requests…”

I second that, it does happen that we are talking about random stuff in the chatroom, then a tall guy enters, a rush of people enter without saying “hello”, probably immediately asked private with the tall or just enter and say “hoooo I am the smallest here, I am sure that all people here couldn’t bother such a strong tall guy”.

“how can someone be geniune there is no sense of community? the population causes the problem that they seem to dislike: creeps. morans and fakes. The actions of the population sets up conditions for the problems that they dislike”

Well, maybe there are 2 sorts of community:

1) the “gay fantasy driven” one, who are here only interested in turning them on whatever it means talking to fakes or building up fake profiles.

2) the “old school genuine members” who are just here to spend some time talking about random facts. True that we all find this website because we had questions about “height”. The forum is here to answer questions and of course, in the chat we can share anecdotes about height…But real ones!!! In my case, I am in this community. I am here to make friends with people from all over the world.

The first community encourage the behaviour that the second one dislike…So don’t say everyone sets up the conditions for the problem they dislike.

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I didn’t realize I was that long too ^^

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“I think you forget the heterosexual members here! I don’t think I am the only 1% you’re talking about “

No, I have not forgotten them. Just they dont have sexual overtones. I was mostly talking about being friendly not gay or streight.

“Well, maybe there are 2 sorts of community:...”

Again. its not a gay or streight (that can be a whole another topic), im just saying its a general “rudeness” is what I was commenting on.

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Hey, I kept it sweet and short.

:-)

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